Our biggest news since I posted in 2017 (!!!) is that we moved to England. It took around 9 months for us to get things sorted so we could be reunited as a family. The decision was extremely difficult. It is quite difficult to write about…
It was 45°C and my little boy was at the door crying, again, desperate to go out for a walk, but we couldn’t. Often, when it was cool enough to go out for a walk, there were times when curious kids would follow us, point at him, laugh, calling him “foreigner baby”. Before becoming a mother, I didn’t mind being a loner and considered the outsider (even if it was frustrating at times).
I was able to observe, learn and write.
I became a mother and becoming a mother in itself can be isolating and now I didn’t want to be an outsider anymore. I didn’t want my child to be the pointed at. I didn’t want to keep having holidays in England while my husband had to stay in India due to his work.
It was a really hard decision which involved our son (18 months at the time) and I having to return to England without my husband, for me to work long hours for 6 months before we could apply for my husband’s visa and a further 3 months before he was able to join us in England. My husband quickly got a great job in the field he loves and was able to adapt to England much better than I did in India. I really appreciated his support throughout this process. It was so hard on all of us, including our family, particularly on him. They were extremely difficult times.
We did aim to visit at least once a year and have our Indian family visit us as much as possible. Obviously, the pandemic put a dampener on that but we have visited India twice since we moved, and my in-laws have been able to stay with us for extended visited, which have been amazing! My mother-in-law is currently with us and has been since October, my father-in-law had to go back for work a little earlier.
I was so lucky to have lived in India. It was a hard decision to move to England, but we must adapt to new situations… and here we are. Years later, we know we made the correct decision.
My Sonshine is now in his 2nd year of primary school, my husband really enjoys his job and I retrained and became a Teacher! Unfortunately Alfonso passed away last year due to some complications with liver. He is very sadly missed, my little boy still gets very upset about it, he was a very special dog. I have also had some health problems but have completely overhauled my lifestyle and doing very well (this includes yoga, tai chi and open water swimming!).
Those are the main things! Thank you for reading!
Happy New Year!! Please let me know what you’ve been up to since 2017!
Really good to hear about you and your life. I have an Indian friend in Lucknow and he was complaining about the weather. Too hot in summer. Too cold with no heating in winter. Too bad you had to leave but understandable. Good your husband was understanding.
Great to hear your news. I have often wondered how you were going. Moving would have been a big decision, and it’s wonderful that it has worked out so well.
Thanks for sharing, and best wishes for a happy and healthy year ahead! So sorry to hear that your little boy wasn’t welcome in the neighborhood 😦
Hi Lauren, good to see you back. I have a follower of your blog since you started… I love your stories
I started reading your blogs waaay earlier. Never commented nor interacted in fb, but got scared when you completely stopped blogging. Covid has been a disaster for us all. Congratulations for your new journey. Take Care!
I’ve had your blog as a bookmark since say 4 years or more. But last few years, I often visited and was always disheartened to find no updates.
I felt maybe your experience has turned sour and you’ve separated.
Feels really good to see you do well in the UK.
For a start, an Indian loves being in the UK but when I was there, I really missed my family. Hope he gets adapted to the punctuality and systematic life which i couldnt.
Sad to hear about your experience as being called an outsider. Thats not what we’re taught to do so. Even today if I see a white/foreigner in my vicinity, I do look at them but with appreciation. That too might cause some issues is what I’m feeling right now with the foreigner looking. Thanks for the realisation.
Take care all of you.
I just stumbled across the link to your blog accidentally, after not having read it for many years. I’m glad that you’re still doing well. I met my husband around the same time as you’d met yours. He is Indian, I’m Polish, but we live in the UK. We have a baby daughter and from what you described, we couldn’t live in India with her, as her completion is quite fair with light coloured eyes, although it could change as she grows… anyway, I always admired you for choosing to live in India. After my one visit there to get married, I knew that it would be so difficult for me to adjust. But you do what’s best for your family and life herein Britain can be so much easier for multicultural families. Take care – J.